I had the most amazing day yesterday. I didn't cry, shout at the kids, lose my shit, or need to give myself a time-out, not even once. Does that mean everything went perfectly? Quite the opposite.

I was supposed to spend the day planning a one day retreat with two of my friends. The night before, my mom called to tell me she was sick and couldn't watch the kids. No problem. I rearranged plans and had everyone come to my house instead, figuring we'd deal with the kids somehow.

Yesterday morning, one of my friends called and had to cancel. No problem again. Reschedule for the three of us, and my other friend comes over anyway. Put a video on for my kids (don't judge me, I hate doing it too), which normally keeps them quiet for hours. Not today. Today they want to jump all over each other, fall off the couch, and continually interrupt us.

I don't know what was different about me yesterday, but with each thing that went wrong I didn't get upset. I didn't think, "my life sucks, nothing ever works out for me, I can't run a business with these kids, or why does this always happen?" (All of which are my recent go-to's when something goes "wrong.")

Nope. Each time something came up, I calmly surrendered my agenda of how things were supposed to go, and made a new plan. And do you want to know the best part? It was so much easier than fighting against the "as-is" of my life like I normally do. 

Not only did I allow myself to give up trying to control my day, I gave up the illusion that I had control in the first place, which is usually what trips me up. As I snuggled my boys last night while they drifted off to sleep, I had a big smile on my face. "Why don't I do this more often?" I wondered out loud. And then today I started freaking out as things spiraled out of control.

You win some, you lose some, and tomorrow's another day.

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