This is how my morning went.
The twins woke up at 8:30am. By 10:30am they had spilled my coffee everywhere, fallen over on the brick fireplace, had to find refuge with me in the bathroom because one of them was whacking the other in the head with cars (which means once again I didn't get to poop in peace), ripped a magazine in half, tried to eat the color magic markers, refused to get in the high chair and eat toast after they asked for toast, and then they got into their big brother's Beanboozled stash when I left the room for less than a minute. I have to say I smiled when I came back into the room and saw his mouth full of jelly beans and the disgusted look on his face. Maybe he's learned his lesson, the jellybeans had flavors like barf, moldy cheese and toothpaste. I'm not sure which ones he got, but the look on his face told me it wasn't peach. Some days a job at WalMart doesn't sound so bad.
The picture below shows the aftermath of my morning with them, and how they sit quietly reading with the reinforcements. In all fairness, they sat quietly reading with me this morning too. Then I made the mistake of checking FB, and spending a few minutes facilitating in my FB group.
In the absence of attention, they will find a way to get attention.
At first I was frustrated. Then I was mad. Then I gave up. Not in the - I can never have a business and babies way of giving up (although that is what I said at the time), but in the "I surrender" kind of give up. More of a giving in instead of a giving up.
No matter how hard I push, I cannot do more with less time (and yes I know time is a construct, but I haven't quite mastered that one yet.) I surrender to being human and not wonder woman. I surrender to spending time with my kids while not being distracted, because that is all they are asking for anyway. I surrender to allowing things to flow as they need to flow, instead of beating myself up that my website isn't perfect and my opt-in isn't showing up and I don't have the right give away to subscribe to my list. I don't even have time to have a list right now, so what does it matter? I surrender to this imperfect, messy, ridiculously unexpected life that I have because, what else can I do? I've tried fighting it and it just doesn't work. I only end up more exhausted.
So we'll see what surrender creates instead.