Winter Solstice. The shortest day of the year. A time to go within, take stock, set intentions.
Is it ironic that the time of year we should be turning inward, focusing on ourselves, being gentle, is the most frantic, hectic, commitment laden time of the year? The commercialization of the season has really bothered me this year. I'm trying to shift gears, to find out what is really important, and do away with that which has no meaning. Are Christmas cards really that important to me, or can I let go of the need to show everyone how much my son has grown? Do I really need to buy meaningless gifts for everyone, or is a thought or kind word enough? (The gift recipients may disagree, which poses a dilemma). Am I better off spending my time pulling my hair out at a mall, or spending time doing things that nourish my soul? That last question has fueled my spiritual growth in immense ways today.
I have to make one last trip to the mall before Christmas, and I have procrastinated until what feels like the last minute. I had planned to do this today, as I can't stand to have it hanging over my head any longer. But something is telling me today is not the day to go to the mall. Today is the day to celebrate the solstice, the return of the sun. To get my house in order, make myself comfortable, cozy, nourished, instead of frazzled, disgusted, and surrounded by negative energy.
The weight of everything I "should" be doing right now is weighing on me. I'm trying hard not to feel like I've wasted the morning. Taking the time to write this blog, which felt so right when I sat down to do it, now feels like a waste of time. My ego is screaming at me to get up and do something useful, but my soul has me glued to the chair to finish what I started. To finish my "self care", which in the past has felt very "selfish" (and still does if I am honest). To do what needs to be done on this day where the light begins to return, the days get longer, and growth begins again.