I'm sitting in Salt Lake City, trying to curb my rampant desire for sugar with a plain yogurt and blueberries.  Not working.  Although, this is the first non - soy/goat milk/sheep milk yogurt I have had for 6 months, so that should be a treat in itself.

I'm still doing the no wheat, no dairy (except for today), no sugar, no alcohol part of the diet.  I had a little slip up a few weeks ago on vacation.  OK, I had a big slip up.  I had ice cream at least 3 nights, I have to admit I lost track.  I bought some fudge for my mom and decided to have a taste, and ate half of the bar.  Of two different kinds.  A fruity drink, 3 pieces of bread, and a bite of lobster mac and cheese.  Yes, as if the mac and cheese wasn't enough, I had meat for the first time in over 10 years.  Talk about feeling guilty.

Unfortunately for me, I not only felt guilty, but my allergies came raging back.  Now, the smart thing to do would have been to add one thing back at a time, so I could see if I could tolerate some things more than others.  I, however, decided that since I had already fallen off the wagon I might as well eat whatever I wanted for the week.  And since I only had a week to do it, I had better eat lots of the forbidden foods.

 I was so sick of watching what I ate that I thought to myself, "Allergies be damned, it's not worth it anymore."  At least that's what I thought until the allergies started again.  My problem is that I can't just cheat once and get back on the wagon.  When I have one oreo, I have to eat two or three.  Oh I forgot, I had those too.  And I didn't stop at three.

So I could probably eat certain things in moderation, if I had any inkling of what the word meant.  I now find myself in the uncomfortable situation of having to kick the sugar craving again.  I find I've been substituting tortilla chips.  Not a wise idea for the waist line.

As for the lobster, I'll admit I've been considering eating fish again.  Perfect timing, considering half the fish in the ocean are getting an oil bath.  My acupuncturist, nutritionist, and husband have all suggested I start eating fish again, since I'm having a hard time getting enough protein.  Since it had come up three times, I thought maybe I should stop ignoring the message.

I took a bite of lobster, one of my favorite things in my pre-vegetarian days, to see if I could even get it past my lips without gagging.  I did, and I'm embarrassed to say it tasted pretty good.  I thought maybe this was something I could handle.  Until the next day when my brother and a friend went fishing.

They brought some fish home in water in a cooler.  When I walked up to the cabin the fish were swimming around.  When I walked back they were beheaded and being filleted on the dock.  This might be harder than I thought.  And forget chicken or cows, I know I can't go back to that.  But I have had a strange craving for salmon for about a month now.  I guess only time will tell, we'll see how long it takes me to forget about the images on the dock.

But for now I have to be satisfied with my sour cream like yogurt and sour blueberries.  Oh what I wouldn't give for an ice cream.

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