Two blogs for today, a bit out of order.  I spent yesterday shopping, and the day before I was preparing to come to work.  I did my usual 3 hour food prep for the trip, and as I had already had a frustrating day I didn't really feel like writing.

Bird poop started my day off on the wrong foot.  Now, normally a little thing like bird poop on my car wouldn't frustrate me, but this day every little thing was a huge annoyance.  I can no longer park my car at the front of my house, because of the Bradford Pear trees planted next to the road.  Whatever you do, do not ever plant a Bradford Pear.  "Oh but they look so pretty", you might say.  Let me enlighten you on the Bradford Pear.  Everyone that has come to my house in the last month has said, "What's that smell?", as they step outside.  The guesses range from everything from rotting garbage to fish, but it's the Bradford Pears.

The other day I parked out front and the tree dropped all of it's blossoms on the car.  It looked like I had a green and white polka dotted car. In the winter the birds drop berries from the tree onto my car, and they immediately turn  into glue and are impossible to remove.  So if you choose to plant a Bradford Pear, I tried to warn you.  Now that I've given you more information than necessary about stinky trees, I'll get back to the real story.

Because of the reasons listed above, I've started parking out back.  Lucky for me, there is another tree back there that overhangs my car.  The birds must sleep in the same place every night, because every morning there is a nice patch of poop in the same place on my windshield.  Now I have nowhere to park my car that it won't get annihilated.  As I was complaining about the poop, my astute 4 year old asked a question that made me laugh.  "Mommy, do birds pee pee?"  Now, I can honestly say that that is a thought that has never, ever crossed my mind.

The day progressed with several other minor annoyances, which I promptly turned from mole hills into mountains.  The straw that broke the camel's back was getting my food ready for work.  I was blending something, and for reasons that can only be described as temporary insanity, I took the lid off of the blender while it was running.  I covered the kitchen and myself with the neon green spinach drink I had been making.

Unable to take it anymore, I sat on the floor and started crying.  My son came over and gave me a big hug.  A few hours later, I was making dinner when he and my mom came into the kitchen.  "Are you going to make another mess Mommy?," he asked innocently.  "I hope not,"  I replied.  He turned to my mom and said, "She cries when she makes a mess."

The old saying goes, "You learn something new every day."  This day I learned that my blender works much better as a projectile rocket launcher than it ever does as an actual blender.  I also learned that if I'm going to have a PMS melt down I should do it when my son's not around, so I don't scar him for life.  And you've learned not to plant Bradford Pears.  That just leaves the unanswered question about birds and pee pee.  Seeing as I have to be up at 4 am, we'll have to leave that lesson for another day.

Subscribe to Blog Posts