"Coming Up,"  an annoying and yet catchy McCartney song that is now running circles in my brain and won't leave me.  Maybe it explains my current mood.  Coming up - like a flower - coming uuuuuuupppppp.  Sorry, I tried to convey the song in my head onto paper and it's just not working.

I had a realization today.  Part of the reason I'm in a bad mood is because of the garbage I have been putting in my mouth.  Well, not exactly garbage, but things I know I shouldn't be eating.  This spring I did a pretty restricted diet, where I cut out all wheat, dairy, sugar and alcohol.  Even though it was a horrible spring for allergies, I didn't have any of my usual symptoms.  The down side was that food suddenly lost it's appeal since all I was eating was rice, vegetables, eggs, and nuts.  In fact, the main reason I stopped doing the diet was because thinking about food all the time and what I could and couldn't eat was just too stressful.  I did feel better though, and it was the first time in years I didn't have allergy symptoms.

The last few weeks my diet hasn't been very clean.  I just got home from work, and on this trip I had a flour tortilla, breaded fish, coffee, and a Sheila's Dream Bar.  What is a dream bar you ask?  Well, it's a delicious dessert bar that has everything I shouldn't be eating, including dairy, wheat, sugar and chocolate.  On top of all that, it also has carnuba wax and propylene glycol.  Now, it's bad enough that I seem to have no will power lately, but normally if I read the ingredient list of a food and it has things in it that could be used to wax my car or de-ice my airplane, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.  Not today.  Today it was delicious.

I've decided I'm sick of waking up in the morning with dry, bloodshot eyes from my allergies.  I'm tired of being grouchy and in a bad mood.  I've finally decided to suck it up and make a change.  Here is my plan.

1.  Daily Affirmations to release anger, anxiety, negative and self limiting concepts
2.  Stop eating junk I shouldn't be eating.
3.  Start taking Bach Flower Remedies again.  I ran across these at the grocery store of all places, and they called to me so I bought them.  I'm going to start with them in the morning.
4.  Getting up early to write/yoga/journal/whatever I feel like doing that nourishes ME

Wow, just writing the list is intimidating me, but I am ready.  I guess that means I better go to bed so I can get up early and start with day one of the new me.  Now that I've committed to this in writing (even if no one reads it), hopefully it will guilt me into staying motivated.  We'll see what happens when the alarm goes off in the morning.

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