I didn't actually plan to write 3 blogs in one day. Technically it was only two, since I wrote the first one last night but didn't have my computer with me to post. This is perfect though, because my 100th post is a significant blogging event, and today is my birthday and a day that feels very pivotal in my evolution, for some unknown reason.
39. It's still hard to believe. I think 40 is going to be a monumental, life changing year for me. But why wait until 40? Maybe because I need a year to prepare. I am not nearly as worried about 40 as I was about 30. From age 26 on, I was counting down the years to 30 with great angst. Even at 30, 40 seemed incredibly old to me. It's amazing how your perspective changes.
I won't say I'm actually dreading 40, because I think I still have some amazing things to accomplish in my life. It is a little daunting to think I'm as close to 59 as I am to 19, but I try not to think about that. At the warp speed pace my life has been taking lately, 59 will be here before I know it. I've spent the last 20 years accomplishing the personal, ego centered goals I've set for myself. I plan to spend the next 20 years giving back, making a contribution to the world that I can be proud of. I guess I really am having a mid life crisis.
I'd like to write some words of wisdom on this 39th birthday. Something I can look back on later and be amazed at my forethought, or just give myself a good giggle over the things that never materialized. Nothing profound is coming to mind though. Actually, I read something in "The Sin Eater's Last Confession" last night that was very appropriate. This is the book I've been reading about Celtic Shamanism. The author of the book was talking about his encounter with angels, and the message he received from them. He saw the words "Be Tranquil," in the shape of a lemniscate or figure eight. I have a previous post about lemniscates and their significance to me. Here are the words he used to interpret what this message meant to him.
"It meant "accept who you are," "stand in your power," "know your truth," "follow your destiny," "release expectations," "let go," "relax," "embrace," "engage," - all of these things and more. Finally it meant: "We are here for you.""
I couldn't have said it better myself, as I need to work on all of these things. And the last one gave me the chills as I read it. I was giving reiki to a friend this weekend who is very intuitive, I would even say psychic. During the session, she said, "They keep saying "WE ARE HERE."" When she said, "I'm listening," they said, "Not you," meaning the message was for me. Then they proceeded to tell her I don't listen to them. Could that little nagging intuition I occasionally feel be something more? Or do I not listen because I just can't hear them? It's a little strange that she had the message " We are here," and then 2 days later I read a book where angels are saying "We are here for you." My husband would say I'm reading too much into something that is nothing more than a strange coincidence. I'll leave it up to you to decide, but I am definitely listening.