Just Stop Doing That

I believe we store our “issues in our tissues.” When we have an unprocessed thought, feeling or emotion that remains unexpressed, we often stuff it down and store it energetically in our body. When we come up against a situation and feel blocked, and no matter how hard we try we can’t “think our way out of it,” it’s because of the unprocessed energetic debris we still hold in our body.

It frustrates me when I hear someone say, “well just stop doing that, or just make a different choice,” because sometimes it’s that easy and sometimes it’s not. Coaching will help you shift a lot of things, but sometimes to go to the next level it requires some sort of bodywork or energy work to release the trapped emotion.

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I Put The Phone Away Today

I put the phone away today.

I used to think that when my kids were at the park, it was a great chance to catch up on Facebook, emails etc because they were distracted. After all, there's two of them so they don't really need me, right?

And then it hit me. Why was I more interested in what someone had to say on FB, than what my kids had to say? Was it more important to clean out my inbox, or watch my children laugh and play?

I've been watching other parents at the park for the last few weeks. Almost 100% of them pay more attention to their phone than their kids.

A teacher asked her 2nd grade class, what item do you wish was never invented? The winner by a long shot, was the cell phone, with devastating stories about how parents ignore their kids when they are on them.

Fast forward to the teen years, and most of us are annoyed that our kids won't get off the phone, and don't want to have a conversation with us or spend time with us. Where did they learn that behavior? What have they been watching us do for years? These same same children wanted to have conversations with us when they were small, before they had their own phone, and we were too busy to notice. Too late we realize it doesn’t feel so good to be on the other side of our child and a phone.

Today when we arrived at the park, I locked my phone in the car. I've tried it all different ways, but if it's anywhere on my body I inevitably feel the pull towards it and sneak a peek. I notice how addicted I am, worrying that I might miss something by not being immediately available for 30 minutes. (I'm one of the last generations to grow up without a cell phone, and I know we got along just fine without them, which makes my addiction more annoying. I even remember what it was like before we had an answering machine or call waiting. We survived.)

Listen, I have 4-year-old twins and a 12 year old. I know that sometimes parents need time to veg out and have a few minutes of peace. If the park is what works for you, then go for it, no guilt involved. I'm just inviting you to take a few minutes, and decide if what's on the screen is more important than what's in front of you? Would you rather remember the laughs and giggles and chasing them like a monster, or have them remember seeing the top of your head and fighting for your attention?

It's still a daily battle for me, and sometimes I forget and the phone wins. But lately, I remember to put my phone in another room, and pay attention to what is unfolding in front of me. Then my kids win. I win. Giggles and laughter win. (And every adult could use more giggles and laughter.)

So if you happen to see me at the park, chasing squealing children and doing my best monster impression, feel free to come and play with us. I promise it’s more entertaining than anything on your phone, and the memories will last much longer than a FB post.

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Us Vs Them - Again

8 people are dead in my hometown today. Another act of senseless violence, a hate crime against those attending synagogue. In the wake of this, there will be sadness, anger, disbelief and mourning. There will also be more fighting. More division. More digging trenches, drawing lines in the sand and blaming someone else. More - if only the other side would do "X" differently.

I'll admit, I've already sent my husband two texts this morning with the incredulous tone of "can you believe he said this?" But this attitude changes nothing. The tribalism is not stopping the bloodshed. We have to do something else.

One solution is to vote, but we can no longer sit back and wait for the politicians to save us. We can't keep flopping back and forth from one political party to the other, and undoing everything that the past party put into place. This doesn't move us forward, it keeps us stuck in the mud. Back to square one, again.

What's required here is a radical shift in perspective, from every single one of us. It's no longer ok to point fingers and say, "If only they would change." Because no one is changing, only hunkering further down into their own barracks.

And here's the thing most people don't realize. That evil "other side," - they are just as scared as you are. All of this fear, all of this False Evidence Appearing Real, is making people do crazy things that take lives and change humanity forever.

Jeff Flake said during the confirmation hearings that "there is no value in reaching across the table anymore." He may be right from a political perspective, but we are not politicians. I believe reaching across the table is the only thing that will save us. Angry rhetoric met with angry rhetoric just causes more fear and pushes unstable people towards the edge.

Are you embodying the kind of world you would like to live in, or just pointing your angry finger at someone else, waiting for them to change? Are you able to admit that you turn a blind eye to some of the things your political party says, that go against what you believe is in the best interest of humanity? Are you willing to question your own beliefs and your own party? Are you willing to call yourself on it and call your own side out, when they go too far and you know in your heart that it's hypocritical and against your very moral fiber? Or will you just keep making excuses, towing the party line? Are you willing to have a conversation, instead of just an angry shouting match, with someone who has a different belief than you? From the point of view of hearing each other, not trying to convert or defend?

Most of America, on both sides, is sitting in their homes, shaking their heads, and asking, "What happened to my country?" We can no longer wait for someone to fix this. The world is holding up a mirror to us to look at our own actions.

Here are some questions we can all ask ourselves on a daily basis. Am I speaking kindly, or are my words as venomous as the person I hate? Is what I'm doing causing more division? Is my hatred for the other side creating more of what I want, or less? What have I done today to reach out and stop the hate?

If we cannot look at our own actions, adjust, and reach out to the other side to make things better, than we are surely lost. Our children are watching, and imitating us. If we don't change our direction, the fear will be 10 times worse by the time they grow up. Are you embodying the kind of world you want them to live in?

It's time to stop pointing fingers, reach a hand across the table, and act. If we continue down this path of us vs them, no one wins. And the next generation is the biggest loser of all.

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