You Have a Choice

The world may be filled with fear, anger and anxiety, but you still have a choice.

You can add to the fear mongering. You can fuel the "us vs them" mentality. You can search for reasons to be defensive or offended (which you will surely find if you are looking.) You can numb-out binge-watching Netflix or endlessly search for connection on Facebook.

Or you can choose something different.

You can choose real connection (as Brene Brown says, "People are hard to hate close up, move in.) You can look for the shared humanity in someone with a different opinion (and realize that they are probably just as scared as you are.) You can have hard conversations in a respectful way. You can choose inclusion, rather than exclusion.

Are you a connector, or a divider? Do you want to build bridges, or blow them up? If you’re not ready to put down your TNT, then I can't help you. If you’re ready to explore a different way of peacefully walking through the world together, hand in hand, instead of having another conversation about who is the biggest victim, I’ll travel that path right beside you.

How do we know where to start? It starts with you.

It starts by getting off of the treadmill of more - doing more, being more and having more, which can also lead to more anxiety, stress and depression. It starts with being kind to yourself. Reducing your own anxiety, so everyone around you can begin to regulate their own nervous system, instead of feeding off of your overwhelm and frustration. It starts with releasing the old stories you have trapped in your body, which can cause dis-ease, and trigger you when someone innocently mentions something you don't like. It starts with being present to your life the way it is right now, rather than obsessing about the past or worrying about the future. It starts with honoring you first, then it ripples out to your family, then to your community.

Not sure how to do all that? That’s where I come in. I'm gathering a sacred tribe of visionaries who are ready to explore a new way of being in the world.

Native Americans believe that every decision we make affects the next seven generations. The next generation is watching. What will we choose?

Stop fearing. Start creating.

Journey on....


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This Is Your Pilot Speaking, Prepare for Takeoff

I took the summer off from my business, not because I could afford to, but because I HAD to. I had been pushing in a direction that didn't feel organic and wasn't in flow. Nothing felt natural or easy. I could tell that I wasn't being me.

Ever since I quit my job as an airline pilot, I've dreaded being asked the question, "So, what do you do?" Being a pilot was an easy, one word answer that normally surprised people. What I do now -  not so much. Top that off with my fear of being different, and I pretty much was embodying this quote from Marie Forleo - 

“Human beings have an ability to get others to judge us for what we judge ourselves for. If you’re at all insecure about what you do……. it’s as if you have this big blinking sign above your head that says - Ask me about my business so you can judge me for how weird it is.”

I had hoped I would emerge from my summer of introspection with a clear title and direction, something that felt like it "fit." I wanted some clarity around what I was already offering. Instead, as often happens when we allow ourselves the time and space to get quiet, an entirely new idea presented itself. A Fear of Flying course, integrating my 26 years of experience as a pilot and my training as a Mindfulness instructor, Reiki Master, and essential oils practitioner. 

Five years ago when I started my business, I didn't tell anyone at my airline job about it. I didn't want to be seen as too woo-woo or out there. I wasn't comfortable describing energy work and the unseen, "felt-sense" intuitive work I was doing, and therefore I didn't think I would be taken seriously.

On the flip side, when I was staffing a mindfulness retreat or attending a drum circle, I didn't talk about flying. It was as if I was leading two separate lives.

I originally thought the Fear of Flying course would be the culmination of all I do and my way of finally showing up as "authentically me" in the world, but the exact opposite began to happen. Because I used to live in two separate worlds, I sought advice from friends in the business world, and friends in my spiritual world. The advice I received felt conflicting to me. One set definitely resonated, the other set felt like I was still hiding something, unwilling to be myself because what I wanted to share was "non-sciency" or not ordinary enough for the business world. I found myself wanting to fit into both places and be everyone's cup of tea.

I thought back to what a coach said to me last year, when I was renting space in a health and dental center to give Reiki sessions. I told her I felt like I had to market differently in that space because it was more mainstream, and it wasn't the same as I would market to say, a yoga center. Her words still ring in my ear. "Why don't you just be you no matter where you are?"

After a few days of soul searching about this course and feeling like I had to cram myself back into a box to appeal to everyone, I've decided I'm not going to do it. I'm still going through with the Fear of Flying course, but I'm not going to try to appeal to everyone, or cater exclusively to the business crowd. I'm not going to curate my website to be more "normal," or try to fit in. I finally feel comfortable talking about things I was never willing to talk about before, it would be a shame to stop myself before I really got started.

I've had to fight my addiction to personal growth with this decision, because the little voice in my head says - "clearly this is showing you where you still have work to do. If you're uncomfortable in a business setting, then maybe you should just work on that until you are comfortable." Although there is truth in that voice, it doesn't feel fun. Or expansive. Or the direction I want my business to go and grow. If someone doesn't want to hire me when I show them my authentic self, I need to learn to be ok with that too. I don't have to be everyone's cup of tea, especially if they prefer coffee.

All of this internal turmoil has brought me closer to addressing my soul's calling, and my passion for "non-ordinary reality." It's the stuff that most of us don't talk about or experience on a daily basis. The things we can feel but not see. That little knowing voice inside that tries to speak to us, if we can just get still enough to listen.

That's who I am and what I do, and I'm not willing to hide it any longer (now, if only I could figure out how to condense that into a soundbite.) In the meantime, if that kind of stuff appeals to you, let's get to know each other better. I'll make the tea.

Journey on...............



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For Reals



Ok, so just in case you are having one of those days where you feel like everyone has it all together but you, I've got your back. Here's an introspective look at how my morning went down, and why I was ready for a nap by 1pm.

I was supposed to leave at 7:10am for a a parent orientation at the middle school. At 7:05am, I realize my oldest has overslept, and he has a fit when I wake him up. At 7:10 I realize that I haven't packed his lunch yet. Not only that, but I remember I need gas in the car, as I have to rush home immediately to get my 2 1/2 year old twins to their first ice skating lesson. On the way out of the parent meeting (which I had to leave early), I ask my son's guidance counselor if she can talk to him about organization. (Maybe she should talk to me instead.)

I arrive home to realize that in the morning pandemonium, my oldest has left his first presentation at home, so have to go back to the school to drop it off. I head for the ice rink with the twins, who are super excited. 

I'm not one of those parents that pushes my kids to do stuff, thinking that they will be behind if they are not on ice skates by the time they are 4 years old (although that is the sad reality.) Every time we drop their brother off at hockey practice, the twins beg to go skating. That's 4 times a week, so I get quite an earful.

Getting them ready to go out on the ice was interesting. Getting them on the ice was even better.

One twin starts screaming and doesn't want to leave me. The other heads straight onto the ice, and promptly falls flat on his butt (of course, what would you expect!) Silly me, I actually thought that a first time ice skating class for 2 year olds might involve something other than opening the door and letting them have at it.

By this time twin #1 has calmed down, and calmly sits in the circle with the other kids. Twin #2 (the previously eager one who fell) is a different story. He spends most of the session crawling back across the ice towards the boards screaming for me. The teacher tells me to stand out of sight, and I'm not sure if I'm doing him a favor or permanently traumatizing him. In my head I'm thinking to myself, "he ASKED for this," and yet I can't help but think all the other parents are looking at me like I'm one of "those moms." Sigh.

When they finally come off the ice, the normally timid twin is all smiles, and the other one talks about how he couldn't stop "cryning." Not even watching Sydney Crosby practice on the rink next door could make him change his mind about going back on the ice.

We get home at noon and I feel like I've put in a full day already. I need a nap, or a drink, or both. This momming stuff is hard. But not nearly as hard as being a 2 year old on ice skates for the first time. I guess I should consider myself lucky, and blessed.


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The Perfect Swimsuit

I was looking at this picture of my great grandparents this morning, and I commented to my mother that it must have been hell to go swimming in a dress like this. Then I headed to Macy's to do my own shopping for a new swimsuit. I'm not sure, but I think I might rather wear my great grandmother's get up than what I had to choose from (minus the shoes.)

A hundred years ago women were expected to go swimming fully clothed (can you imagine not feeling the sand between your toes?), and now  I'm supposed to wear a bathing suit that shows parts of my body that no one needs to see, including me. Not to mention the fact that it set me back a cool $100 bucks. At least it was on sale, (because it is the last day of June so the store needs to make room for winter boots and coats. Don't get me started.)

I'd like to invite women over 40 (hell, all women for that matter), to join me in a swimwear revolution.  To hell with the skimpy, expensive, bikini-wax-requiring swimsuit. Let's choose comfort, and something that makes us feel good about ourselves instead. I say we throw off the ridiculous societal norms of how we are supposed to dress when we go swimming, and show up in a tank top and shorts (or whatever else makes you feel good.) 

What could go wrong? It might put the bikini wax salon out of business, but is that really a bad thing? (Apologies to any bikini wax specialists who love their job.)

So who's with me? Cause I'm gonna look stupid at the pool if I'm the only one in shorts. Although considering my other options, I might just take my chances......




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